At Least I Wrote Something
Despite the fact that I just wanted to be lazy and watch Parks & Rec, I decided to write something down last night. It isn’t pretty or necessarily insightful, but it’s something. I need to get in the habit of writing everyday, not just when I’m inspired. My fiancé encouraged me to do this last night, and although I admittedly was grumpy about it, I listened. He was right. The mere exercise of writing last night spurred creativity this morning. I’ll share that piece with you later.
But today, I thought I’d be a little vulnerable with you and share the exercise before the inspiration. Here it, unedited, an “I woke up like this” post for you:
Ideas are bouncing around my brain, and I can’t harness them. It’s like a pinball machine has been switched on in my mind. Each idea or task lights up and steals the attention. I continue to pull the lever to new ideas and opportunities but play defense, clicking on triggers, trying to stay afloat.
I feel out of control and can’t seem to really focus. A constant level of stress rests around my spirit, a haze distracting from the here-and-now. My difficulties manifest themselves in nausea. Palms sweat; I’m hot and cold. I feel restless.
But then I look down and see my fiancé’s cat staring into my eyes. She looks at me with eyes full of love and without words or purrs or actions, she beckons me to pet her. Immediately I realize that I need to take advantage of the moment. I have an amazing fiancé who cooked me dinner and baked me cookies. I spent two hours dancing tonight and felt successful after the classes. I completed my first draft of a report I’m writing for work and had two successful presentations. In fact, when I write everything down, I feel great about my day and proud of my successes.
Once I’m able to calm my brain from this crazy, loud life game, I can focus on the things in life that make me happy. I can spend time with my best friend; I can spend time researching wedding ideas, filling out passport applications, planning a honeymoon, writing more, dancing and spending quality time with my friends. I can focus on all the things that matter, instead of just lists. Life is too short to not.