On turning 30
“Thirty is the new 20”, so quoted Jay-Z, and so repeated many of my friends when I recently became eligible to critique this bold statement. I don’t know if I can say I accepted 30 gracefully. Although everyone made me feel (and continue to feel) special by sending me messages, buying me gifts and celebrating with me, I still couldn’t muster a lot of happiness. For unknown reasons, dread clouded my emotions. I don’t think it was exactly the number 30, but the realization of life’s speed. Those “dreaded” questions surmounted:
- Meghan, what are you doing with your life?
- Meghan, what is your purpose in life?
- Meghan, have you done anything of significance with your life yet?
- Meghan, do you know you actually have to start considering having kids now?
- Meghan, when are you going to stop being afraid?
- Meghan, when are you going to take risks?
- Meghan, when are you going to see the Wonders of the World?
My inner mind knows that some of these questions will never be answered. It knows the pursuit of purpose and the journeys in turn taken are the true gems of life. Everyone tells me my 30s will be my best years. They say:
- You’ll have money.
- You’ll find your voice.
- You’ll find that people will start listening to you more.
- You’ll have more confidence.
- You’ll stop caring what other people think.
- You’ll stop making so many excuses.
- You’ll have more flexibility to pursue those explorations.
What they think is reassurance also spooks. If I’m supposedly starting the best years of my life, then the counter of that is it’s never getting better than it is right now. And if I remember how quickly my 20s ended, the best part of life will be over soon. But that’s negative Meghan, and that’s why I started this blog. Even when we find ourselves caught in the webs of the everyday and the drudge seems to never end, life is still damn short. That’s why I not only want to chronicle those little, special moments, but relish my new pursuits, all the while encouraging you to do and share the same.
Heck, maybe Jay-Z is on to something after all. In fact, since I’ve turned 30, I’ve gotten up before 9 a.m. every weekday, started making writing a habit, helped friends move, advocated for my mentee, signed up for dance classes, bought a wood burning kit, and have become more involved in the nonprofit community in Louisville. Perhaps 30 is just what I needed to propel life to the next level.