I awoke before the sun. She had yet to reach her beams out to the world, flooding it with hope, illuminating it with possibility. Honestly, I thought the darkness would exacerbate the fear I was expecting to experience. It was, in fact, the day I was to see the doctor. The day that what I’d found would be figured out….hopefully.
I credit ALL of you for the lack of fear I experienced Wednesday morning. It was as if I was receiving a giant group hug. The bounty of well wishes, positive thoughts and prayers physically and mentally carried me through the routine of the morning and silent interval in the waiting room. Anytime a worry crept into my mind, an inexplicable calmness scared it away. This wouldn’t have happened without each of you. I don’t think I’ll be able to thank you enough.
As for the doctor’s thoughts – she’s confident it’s just a cyst. I’m confident in her. An ultrasound is still on the agenda – better safe than sorry. Her office hasn’t called me to schedule the appointment yet, but I’ll be sure to let you all know what they find. My worry has significantly diminished since I’ve seen her, but I’m anticipating total peace of mind.
Through this experience, I’ve learned that it’s OK to put yourself out there. It’s OK to be vulnerable and to ask for help. The last time I found a cyst, I didn’t even tell my mom. I felt isolated and alone, which compounded my fear. This time I felt surrounded by love and strength. Loneliness was far from my reality. So folks, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and tell your story and express your fears because you’d be surprised by the result.
The power of your support lifted my spirits and hope tremendously. Each of you are special to me and Chris, and we are grateful for your presence in our lives.
P.S. Through telling my story, I also discovered that so many of my female friends and acquaintances have experienced something just like this before. Of course, this created a whole slew of questions in my mind. I plan to research and answer some of them, so yes, there will be a breast cyst blog post sometime in the near future. Boys, get excited! 😉